The Unknown Muck

Have you ever gone to a bathroom in which the gruesome wooden floor transformed from light brown to wet spots of unknown muck?  Let me broaden the scope more, do you know that feeling when you really need to use the bathroom but you are afraid to open those doors and see what is inside?  As Penn State students, I am sure many of you have gone out on weekends to just hang around with friends, party at a friend’s apartment, or a fraternity house.  There have been multiple instances in which I have needed to use the bathroom at a fraternity house and it has been quite the utmost petrifying and repulsive experience ever.  Better yet, I have never been to a fraternity house bathroom that has been acceptably sanitary ever.  Here is a taste of what it’s like to use a fraternity house bathroom:

First, I patiently wait in a line of other anxious girls.  I finally get in a stall to use the bathroom and my feet are splattering the filthy sludge below the soul of my shoes.  I try not to move my feet around much to prevent this sludge from getting on my shoes.  Now that I am in the stall, I am uncertain as to where to leave my cellphone in fear of the millions of contaminated microbes in the stall, mostly on the walls.  I decide to hold it in my hand. I shortly ask myself an unusual yet challenging question; where is the toilet paper?  As I look around, I realize that the toilet paper is laying on the wet floor with one side dipped in the unknown muck.  I attempt to multitask and remove the dirty side of the role while holding my cellphone.  Thankfully, I am successful! But what do I do now with the toilet paper role? Well, I figure, there is nothing else to do with it except to leave it where I found it.  I flush the toilet with one foot as I balance on the other and not touch the other parts of the stall.  I walk out of the stall, grateful to finally wash my hands.  My friend offers to hold my phone as I use warm soap and water to lavish my hands. Finally, I dry my hands with paper towels and gladly walk out of that monstrosity.

Is this what a bathroom experience should be like? I never thought that going to the bathroom could be such an obscene and unsanitary activity until I witnessed a fraternity house bathroom.  Of course, what is my recommendation for using fraternity house bathrooms? AVOID ALL POSSIBLE MEASURES FOR USING ONE AND USE WITH CAUTION!